maxterbate: maxterbate: Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr? Free chocolate milk for everyone i have just been informed on this
tubesock: 267349: I used to want to be a cop. But between the whole fuck cops thing and the bad cops thing, I was turned off by it. Now I’ve found another way to help people that is still closely related. I can still work with law enforcement and not be one.
irenigg: *follows girl into unisex bathroom* “good evening”
bigeisamazing: today at work the white attendant i was working with said he couldn’t stand rap music because all he heard them talking about “drugs, sex, bitches and hos” and that he grew up listening to Led Zeppelin, Motley Crue and Kiss
royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work but how did he get busted?
okayamelia: “my real name is…. matt smith.” the doctor takes off his jacket and bowtie to reveal his real self. he has been a human actor all along. the fourth wall is broken. the fandom is in chaos.
varldslighet: after fridays come the
reyairia: 70% of editing is just looking at ur work for a few hours with this face
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
My friends are losers.